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| A Frosty Walk To Work... |
So how's your New Year been ?
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| A Frosty Walk To Work... |
I don't know if any of you remember my little 7 day connect to the Goddess challenge I set back in February? Well anyway, it created quite an interesting journey for me, and I promised a blog about it at some stage, so here we are!
So at the end of the little challenge, the final part was to do a short meditation journey, I ended up on a sunny river bank, watching a beautiful ethereal lady serenely paddle a boat towards me, both of us surrounded by kingfishers, which was all rather lovely and not at all what I was expecting. Maybe I was influenced by the colours I was wearing? Who knows, but I know enough to know a sign when it comes and bites me on the bum!
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| Me looking all wafty and Kingfisher coloured... |
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| Halcyone - Herbert James Draper |
So Halcyon Days means idyllic past days, memories of the golden days. Now that made me a bit sad to be honest, like all the best days have been had, wow, what if even most of the days have been had? That's how my brain was working, not surprisingly perhaps after a long year of serious health issues. Hmm. More googling required. Spiritually a Kingfisher can mean Love, Abundance and Prosperity, now that was more like it! Boldness, Courage and Peace? Why yes, I'll have me some of that thank you very much!
The name Alcyon was still nagging at me, where had I heard of her before? I was thinking the sky but perhaps that was just the Kingfishers flying? Finally I remembered, the Pleiades!
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| From : goodwitcheshomestead.com |
The Seven Sisters! No not the 'mountains' that I climbed on the South Coast, no one mention them to me ever, ever again! These Seven Sisters were Maia, Alcyone, Merope, Asterope, Calaeno, Taygete and Electra, daughters of Atlas, who holds up the earth for the Gods and Pleione - a sea nymph. There are many stories about them, a popular one being that because of their beauty they were pursued relentlessly by the hunter Orion and to protect them from his advances Zeus transformed them first into doves and then into stars to keep them safe. Personally, I'd have had a stern word with Orion first...
Ironically the Pleaides constellation is a cluster of stars in Taurus, next to that of Orion, so he still pursues them across the night sky. What a sex pest. They are visible to the naked eye but it took me a while to find them.
I'd encountered these sisters before, when I did my celebrancy course, my tutor believe it or not was a lovely lady called River (just small connection!). We had to do a plant spirit/ally mediation, I connected to a red pimpernel, and that in turn connected me to Maia, the eldest of the Seven Sisters as She is the 'deity' connected with that humble plant, that was another amazing mediation and probably a whole blog in itself too, but this moment of serendipity really connected me to two of these sisters. Maia is connected to the month of May - which is just days away and her name means among many other things, midwife, grandmother and wise one. If you make a happy accident of a connection with things, go with it, go with the flow, you're not mad, you are finding your own way and that above all is what I think Goddess wants us to do.
Just when I thought I'd finished with Alcyone, Maia and the Kingfishers for the time being, they re-joined me. Me and Himself had gone out for the day, to one of our favourite pub Restaurants at Dungeness - the Pilot, and stopped off on Romney Marsh to look at a few things, one of them being St Eanswythe Church at Brenzett as well as the local marsh visitors centre when they paid a surprise visit in separate art works.....
Kingfishers Come A Calling...
So as you can imagine that got me thinking again, about these Halcyon days and what it all means. The good old days? The best days are done? Look back with rose tinted glasses, and wallow in nostalgia? Certainly no harm revisiting them, those amazing days that we have enjoyed in the past. Just don't remain there.
It's also the Good Times right now, The Prosperous Times, Better Times round the corner! Those ahead as well as those we've experienced. What if today and yesterday are tomorrow's Halcyon Days? Let's make the most of them!
Have a Blessed Week x x
Blessings of Ostara and Spring Equinox To You All!
I love the fact that here in the Northern Hemisphere it's a moveable feast and can be anywhere between 19th to 21st March. To me it feels very flexible and fluid and If I can't do anything in particular to mark it on the actual day, I feel quite at ease doing something a day or so early or late. Day and Night, Light and Dark are equal in hours, harmonious in perfect balance, it all has a wafty quality for me as though the Sabbat itself really is on Pagan Time! The aspect of duality always appeal to me, every year I say I am going to do some shadow work around this time but as usual what I think I am going to do ends up being a completely different experience to what actually happens!
| The Start Of My Ostara Altar |
This time of year, my altar always builds up slowly, adorned with gifts from the Earth Mother Herself as they are bequeathed to me, and this year was no different. Last Friday I found myself heading off with my lovely friend Neene, who like me is always up an Adventure with a capital A. She'd seen a workshop advertised last year - A Goddess Creation Workshop to be exact and wondered if I might be interested, to be fair she had me at Goddess Creat... and the fact that Himself bought it for me as a Yule present was an added bonus.
So after a super early start of 5.45 am, relishing the fact that Lady Moon was still high and watchfully witnessing the Sun Rise - what a beautiful and apt Equinox moment in itself, we arrived in the wilds of Suffolk. The reason we were so excited? Literally our idea of heaven, hidden away in the woods we found this...We really were that excited!
| Our Venue For The Day - Will's Earth Lodge |
I think we were both actually squeaking with excitement at this point! We finally stopped squeaking long enough to go and introduce ourselves to our host for the day Will Lord. More squeaking ensued as we discovered the inside of the Earth Lodge....
| Squeak, Squeak, Squeak.... |
| More Squeaking then I can type!! |
Now, other than stylising my mashed potato into a volcano complete with gravy lava and killing off a village of peas, I've never really carved anything before. Daunted? A little. After discussing all things Stone Age with Will, his carving Supremo friend Scott and the other intrepid souls that had joined us, fortified by Tea, we discussed carving, flints and materials found in the nearby Grimes Graves, including a Goddess carving found there dated about 5000 years ago, thought to have been left as an offering along with an ahem, phallus shaped carving to either thank the Goddess for her flint that was mined or maybe to encourage more 'to grow'. No one quite knows and for me that's the wonder of it all!
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| My raw block of Chalk from Grimes Graves |
So this is what I started with! Not the creme egg, that was soon demolished and not by my snazzy flint tools that were cut especially for us, dangerous or what, and they let me and Neene loose with them? Already in the sun we were starting to see the difference of the light and the dark in the lines and the shadow, something not lost on us as we approached the Equinox.
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| Proper Sharp! |
Look how sharp they are!! It didn't really occur to me what I was handling until Will said that we were carving chalk that had been cut away 5000 years ago in the flint mine and piled up. 5000 years!! So the hands that cut this chunk out, lived at the same time roughly as 200 generations ago, the same time as my 198 times Great Grandparents.... they were the last hands to touch these! How freaking awesome is that! I sat there for a little while just holding this damp lump of chalk, letting the shape form in my head. For some reason the word replete came to mind, so my Goddess slowly emerged from the rock, scrape by scrape, first tentative and then with more conviction and purpose and you know what, I'm pretty darn impressed with myself...
I did manage to utter the immortal words " I just need to smooth my breasts out" which made us giggle a fair bit, but I decided to leave them as she had been crafted by me, which is a whole lesson in itself for me! Perfectly imperfect.
It really was a beautiful spring day and the changing light lit up the carvings we had crafted, really bringing them to life. What a lovely medium to work with. As we drove home, we were once again blessed with the newly Full Moon Rising in The East and The Sun setting to our West - in almost perfect Harmony. It was truly surreal and exquisite.
So here's my Goddess, all replete on her Oak Disk Throne - gifted to me by the fallen Oak Tree that sadly came down on the Village Green in the recent storms and Ivy that grew up my path and needed trimming back.
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| In Her Rightful Place... |
My Ostara Altar is slowly evolving and being gifted to me by the Earth Mother Herself - light and dark, the shadow side of life and death, all in the turn of the wheel, perfect for Equinox.
Have A Blessed Week x x
Sometimes I have amazing bursts of inspiration of how to celebrate the Sabbats and I come up with some amazing new and funky ways and rituals to do so. Other times, to quote my friend Jenny's turn of phrase, I am as about as spiritual as a stick. This Imbolc, my style and inspiration instead of being that of Sassy Spiritual Chic, I was more like Stressy Spiritual Stick.
| Snowdrops at St Margaret's Church |
Brat Bridhes, Bratog Brides or Bride's Mantles
How beautiful they look! That made me feel much better, following an old tradition that is more or less forgotten, nothing novel and wild this year, that worked for me. The idea is that they are filled with healing energy and you can use them throughout the year as and when you need them, just make sure you peg them down when it's windy! With this mind set firmly in place I decided to have a goat another traditional Imbolc custom which could be done on limited means and effort, making Bridie's crosses out of leaves from the garden.
Much happier now my mind turned to sacred wells, the only spring and well I knew of near me was not far away but is in a sad state of repair and covered in pigeon poop, and I was really feeling that. Randomly I had a google, a really lazy Goddess Girl's google literally - 'sacred wells near me ' and lo and behold St Margaret's Well appeared! Ok so she wasn't Brigid - (I mean we're not in Ireland Claire for goodness sake!) But it was just 8 miles away. The next day WAS my day off so this was too good an opportunity to miss!
| The Plaque at St Margaret's Well |
| My Bridie's Cross at St Margret's Well |
At the top, much to my dismay but sadly not unexpectedly, I found the old church locked, but round the side of the Church there was a man taking a break from mowing the church yard talking to another man, so I asked if there was any chance of having a look inside. Bless his heart, he was the Church Deacon and went back down the little hill to get the key to show me round, whilst I stood chatting to the other man who had come to visit his wife's grave, admiring the ancient Yew there, what a beauty and a certificate verifying it's age as over 1000 years old hangs in the Church Porch! Looks like I was right about it always being a special place!
| The 1000 Year Old Yew! |
We heard a car alarm go off and I could see my indicators flashing so I merrily bleeped it with my fob and carried on chatting. When the Deacon came back chuckling he said, "you might have to move that car o' yours, it's blocking the road!" Bewildered I went to investigate, only to find that I must have forgotten to put my handbrake on in my excitement and it had rolled down and was proudly sitting in the middle of the road, completely blocking it both ways, with several cars curiously at a standstill with drivers and passengers wandering about trying to find the owner! Hahaha. Luckily the only thing it had touched was the kerb on the other side of the road which had prevented it rolling through a thin wooden fence and into someone's front wall. Apologising and blushing profusely, I moved my car and made sure the hand brake was on good and proper this time.
| What Glorious Keys!! |
Re-joining my new friends we all laughed about it, before they opened the church with the most amazing set of keys and then proceeded to give me a lovely little tour round the church, perhaps they simply thought I wasn't safe on my own! They may well be right. They showed me all the hidden gems, the squint holes for the lepers and the beggars to peer through, the 500 year old stained glass in one of the windows, the mechanism of the pipe organ as well as pointing out graves of importance - such as a famous bell maker and showing me just the right angle to peer into the crypt to see the wooden coffins sealed off below!
What a beautiful unexpected little Imbolc afternoon out, and when I got home, I decided to look up St Margaret, she's the patron saint of expectant mothers, perfect for Imbolc wouldn't you say?
Have A Blessed Week x x
Well that was a long break....
To be fair it was a blooming long and difficult year last year! I'm sure it was for many people.
Last time I wrote my blog I was recovering from my operation in February, so just to bring you all up to date, they found some nasty cancer cells (boo, hiss!) so I needed 3 months of chemotherapy in the early summer - but still managed to make Summer Solstice camp of course (and boy was I looked after by my beloved Pagan Family!) and of course our Maidstone Pagans Camp as well as all the online stuff...| Solstice Camp |
As you know, I believe in many different types of healing and bounced out of both previous operations earlier last year like nothing had happened and I put it down to all the love, support, healing and prayers being sent to me. So when in November, I had my third and (hopefully last) operation I was pretty much expecting the same. However this time, despite all the prayers, healing and reiki that were coming my way, this one was a lot harder on me. Instead of getting up and walking about I could barely get out of bed let alone stand I found it odd that I was so poorly, thinking how weird it was that they hadn't worked this time.
Oh, she of little faith!
I had some really rough days in there, I actually had post op pneumonia and acute kidney injury following the stent removal from them, which had been put in place to protect them during my 5 hour op, and had a temporary mini kidney failure and was pretty much one step away from sepsis. Somehow, I managed to fight it all off!
| Rocking The Nebuliser.. |
I literally spent 4 days absolutely off my head on drugs; hearing voices, whisperings, and generally hallucinating, seeing faces and seeing words write on walls and talking to someone called Donna - I don't even know anyone called Donna! So I was blaming the morphine for that, I finally came home after a week, feeling a bit, well let down if I am honest, why all that lovely healing hadn't all 'worked', I mean I was home but it had been really rough. Had I done something wrong?
So 6 o'clock in the morning following my first night home I awoke from my beautiful dream...
In it, I was at huge train station and there were loads of bedraggled looking grey passengers, dragging luggage and looking ill, but there were also a whole range of calm beautiful smiling passengers all in colour and beautifully dressed just watching, just waiting.
| Photo Courtesy of London Bodyguards |
I was one of the grey ones, as I roamed round not knowing what was going on am, I am aware that someone is looking at me. I looked up and saw it was my lovely friend Sharon, who we sadly lost in September, in full glorious technicolour with her beautiful cheeky smile and I heard her say Hel-Lo! - in her voice, in her own special way.
| Me, Mark and Our Lovely Sharon In Happier Times... |
She was sitting at a beautiful café in an old Italian style stone street, 2 hot chocolates on the table and she patted the chair next to her for me to sit next to her. I was crying and hugging her and she told me it was her turn to sit me for a bit now it was calmer. She told me that I'd had 'them' all worried and 'they' had all been whirling around me all the time I was ill and I'd given her a right fright. She was as beautiful, well, happy and as amazingly Sharon like as I've ever seen her. Original Poster Unknown - Happy To Credit!
We chatted for a while and then she said it was time to go and although I didn't want to leave her, I waved her off as she said she other people to visit. Her parting words to me were: "Love You So Many!" - the ones which she always signed her texts off with. That still smarts writing that in the past tense...
As you can imagine I awoke in tears but feeling completely blissful and safe in the knowledge that of course all the prayers and healing had been heard by my Goddess, I was being healed and loved, they'd just been doing their purpose at a much deeper level than my brain had been able to comprehend. Those whispered and floating words I'd seen - were they the prayers, spells and healing weaving their way around me? It reminded me of the poem Footprints in the Sand by Carolyn Joyce Carty which I decided to amend as below:
One dark night I had a dream. I dreamed that
I was walking along the beach with my Goddess
Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
In every scene I noticed two sets of
Footprints in the sand: one belonging
To Me, and the other to the Goddess
As She walked beside me.
When the last scenes of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
And I noticed that many times along the path of
My life there were only one set of footprints.
I noticed that it happened at the very
Lowest and saddest and most difficult times of my life.
This really surprised and bothered me my heart,
And I asked Goddess about it:
"Goddess, I thought that I was your beloved daughter
And when I followed your path,
That you would walk beside me,
That you would walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
Troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me to fend for myself "
And the Goddess replied:
"My precious Daughter of Earth,
My precious Child
I heard every prayer and cry for help
I love you and never let you walk alone.
During your dark days, your pain, your fear
And your hopelessness
When you see only one set of footprints,
It was then that as your Mother,
I carried you safely in my arms."
So that was me told! Oh and I looked up Saint Donna, trying to work out who I was talking to, even the nurses had commented on it - I thought perhaps their was a Saint Donna, Patron Saint of wayward and bemused Goddess girls, or something similar. I suppose in a fashion there is, Donna of course is from the Italian for Lady, Our Lady, now is that Madonna, Our Mother - Mary Mother of Jesus or the Goddess? Or are they one and the same?
Have A Blessed Week x x x
So this time I was finally going to get round to talking about Dolls Houses as planned - can you tell I'm a bit obsessed? However it appears that healing is the topic of conversation for today. As most of you that are in any way connected to me on Facebook or Instagram will be aware, I've been in hospital. I wasn't going to talk about it, I get fed up with it, so I guess everyone else does too, and let's face it, other people's illnesses aren't exactly riveting stuff!
However, when I was lying there wide awake in the wee small hours this morning, Trucker and a cat snoring gently, gratefully snug and comfy back in my own bed, I reminded myself that when I started writing my blog I promised myself and Goddess to always speak my truth, even about my darker moments and I knew this would be about my experiences and healing journey instead.
To cut a long story, short just before Christmas I was taken ill and they found a small tumour obstructing my colon, damn it! As it was preventing my colon from working properly, ie at all, I needed to have an emergency operation to have a stoma or colostomy bag fitted to by-pass it, promptly named Nellie by my lovely friend Neene as it goes Trump, Trump, Trump! As a child I was a bit obsessed with spontaneous human combustion and used to pray that wouldn't happen to me, who knew my colon would take it as a personal challenge to improve on that concept and threaten to blow me up from the inside.... You have to laugh, if you don't you cry and damn that lines your face!
Anyway this week, I was back in hospital - planned this time, having the tumour removed along with a lymph node which has now been sent off for a biopsy to make sure that it isn't the dreaded big C . Tests from before Christmas didn't indicate cancer, so we are half way there! Either way, the problem has been removed and I now have a tender belly the colour (and shape) of an over ripe Comice pear that looks as though Freddy Kruger has been let loose and used it as a pin cushion. I'm joking, the Surgeon and Nursing team were absolutely amazing, my care was second to none and they did an amazing job and my tiny little scars will all heal away to next to nothing before long. I hadn't wanted to write a drama filled blog about poor me and this isn't that, but it does just explain my self care posts over the last week and if you look back at my blogs you can see when I'm hermiting, when I've been working through grief or whenever I've been full of teenage truculent maiden mardiness but anyway I am well and actually as per usual the goddess had a plan for me, this time to talk about my healing journey and it was cathartic and healing for me mentally just to have written that down and have you all witness my experience! So thank you.
After listening to Anita last week I took notice of what my body was doing at 1:30 this morning, gurgling, making a racket and very wide awake and it was my small intestine doing it's thing, letting me know it was healing and getting back to work - did you know that when you have a general anaesthetic your digestive system stops? Stands to reason I guess.
Hedgie's Healing Spell
I'm blessed to be surrounded by lots of people who believe in healing and sending healing and I can honestly say that lying in my hospital bed, I felt so much of it coming my way, literally felt it, felt the fizzing power of Hedgie's healing spell energy. Those of you who saw my Talking with My Goddess with lovely Kayleigh in December might remember me talking about a blue light and energy that was around me last time I was in, which she said she thought was probably the Archangel Raphael? I had exactly the same thing happened to me again this time - longer and more prolonged. A dreamy blue aura all around me that came and went. I was well aware of patches of heat rolling over me, there are times when the very air around me seemed to shimmer and time would momentarily stand still too! Now it could have been the morphine, fabulous stuff, but I genuinely think it was more than that. I know I was sent Reiki and healing by many wonderful friends, prayers were whispered on my behalf, spells were created and woven. I felt so held in love. Even the doctors, the surgeon and the nurses were impressed with how quickly I was up and walking around, looking like I hadn't had an operation without copious amounts of pain killers. One of the lovely, lovely nurses even commented on the vibe in my room, she said it was full of positivity and joy. Naturally! I was being held by so many amazing souls.
Love and Magic from my favourite 11 year old and her Nan...
Of course it wasn't just this meta-physical, ethereal healing that has supported and nourished me, so many texts, messages, cards, letters, phone and zoom calls came my way too, just knowing people are thinking of you is an amazing energy to heal in, especially when Covid means no visitors at all.
There was also the absolute bliss of being transported to my parents house for Claire-sitting whilst the Trucker was at work, my childhood home where four generations of my family have shared life, love, laughter and supported each other through everything that has come our way since 1967, being sent to my childhood bedroom for an afternoon nap and tucked in by my 70 something Mum again! A get well message from a childhood friend that included a video of me at her birthday party in 1977 that she had transferred to video from Cine 8 for her Dad, culminating in us both agreeing that our homemade 70's party dresses suggested our Mums did way more drugs than they ever let on...
Cheers Nessa!! Can you spot me?
Have a look at 22 - 25 seconds as I elegantly lope round the chairs ....
This treat was followed by side and almost stitch splitting laughter with my Mum being Mrs Malaprop asking me if I wanted a slice of Fright Coke with my cuppa, fruit cake Mother, fruit cake! Before finally coming home to Unicorn letters and a hand made card from my best friend's granddaughter Brooke - my unofficial great niece, who thought I was Great Aunty because I was great as in amazing bless her heart, who's birthday wish was for me to be better - what magical wonder is that?! Cat cuddles and a crazy hour long faced paced WhatsApp conversation with my friends from school this morning that would make your hair curl. Literally! So much healing on so very many levels, in so many shapes and forms.
centreofexcellence.com
Laughter, probably the best medicine there is. So here's my journey of healing so far, there's some way to go, another operation will be needed in a couple of months time to reconnect the pipe work so to speak but I'm going to make the most of the time off, put my feet up and heal. I'd say rest and do nothing but that's a step too far, instead that I thought I'd do a short course connected to work, which I can keep my brain occupied with during my month's necessary convalescence (which will be policed by Trucker and my parents!) The significance of what I had signed up for didn't occur to me until I started writing this... an Ancestral Healing Course, wouldn't be anything else would it?
Thank You for sharing My Journey with me..
Have A Blessed Week x x
As most of you know, I'm a firm believer in the folklore about the Cailleach collecting her winter logs - a dry Imbolc predicting more days of winter ahead, and along with Punxsutawney Phil The Ground Hog at good Old Gobblers Knob, in Pennsylvania (who saw his shadow and legged it this year for the record) the Cailleach was definitely abroad!
My February the first wasn't necessarily bright but it was definitely dry and then of course, less than a week later, like most of the UK, we've had more than a sprinkling of snow. So today I went out for lovely walk - some of you may have seen my little video I posted earlier on my WWMG Facebook page - which you can see here - Woodpecker Woods Live - I took you on a little jaunt through the woods with me, but at the time I concluded that the woodpeckers had migrated, but guess what I heard as I walked back? Yep Woodpeckers! I looked it up and some don't migrate, they sit winter out in their nests!
So I've included this little clip too! Dodgy cinematography I know, but it was the sound I wanted to capture!
I've been doing my own 30 day Lunar Cycle Challenge, which some of you may have seen on my instagram or facebook pages, and the prompt y...