Learning To Remember

July 2020

I've seen so many blogs, articles and memes about Covid 19 - how to cope with it, how it's changed people's lives, how to prosper. Lists of spells and rituals to help you through it, toxic memes that declare if you haven't learned a new skill that you've wasted time, articles announcing that people have built a business, written a best-seller, taught yourself how to play the cello, become an overnight genius and flown to the moon. I vowed I wouldn't add my blog to the list of these.

What I want to know is where are the slightly plumper than they were before, pajama clad, slightly ashamed of the wine bottle chink of their recycling bin people? Or is it just me? I know it isn't, I've spoken to so many of my friends (socially distanced of course) to know that I'm not alone in my 'failure' to have have lost 14 stone, created a 6 figure turnover business in less than a week or written a series of best selling novels that will beat JK Rowling hands down. 

Hats off to all these ambitious and high flying people, I mean that, I really do. I have no wish to attempt to pull them down or shame them for their fabulous achievements and successes. It's the expectations and the attempted shaming of people who are just about managing to navigate a semi normal course through choppy waters and trying not to drown in uncharted ocean of a pandemic - that's what I have an issue with. For some of us, most of us, the changes and achievements in our lives will be smaller and quieter, but that does not make them less significant, far from it. These small quiet undeclared victories or lessons will have just a great an impact for the individual concerned, so I caved and with goggles of (hopefully) hindsight as we emerge blinking into the post lockdown era, I've written my own Covid 19 success blog.

What I discovered was not just what I'd learned, but an awful lot of what I had remembered about myself....

I remembered what it feels like to not have to worry about make up.

I remembered what it felt like as a child to be 'ready' with just clean clothes, brushed hair and teeth.

I learnt that people still talk to you at the supermarket or outside if you are 'au naturel'. They still smile, chat, laugh and joke with you.

I learnt that they don't point and laugh at the grey hairs.

I remembered how much I love the feel of the grass beneath my feet.

I remembered how the smell of wet earth is absolutely divine.

I remembered the joy of watching plants and vegetables grow day by day like beloved pets.

I remembered my connection to the land, literally and spiritually.

I learnt that I love gardening barefoot getting grubby and watering my feet as much as the plants.

I remembered how much I love my husband. I mean I always knew, but

I remembered why we promised our love to each other forever.

I remembered what a good team we are.

I learnt that he really does always have my back, and vice versa.

I leant that we didn't want to kill each other during lock down and that we really are forever.

I remembered my beloved Nanna telling my about the rationing and queues during and after the war and felt grateful that I had a short ten or fifteen minute queue for the supermarket and that wine and cheese has not yet been in short supply.

I remembered slow rainy days of childhood where I had sat nose pressed against the windows, wishing the rain away with every essence of my young being.

I remembered the quiet hum of creativity, lost in concentration and the pleasure it brought to create - just because.

I remembered the sheer joy and anticipation of curling up with a book, guilt free.

I learnt was it was to be patient.

I remembered the joy of cuddling a cat and feeling their whiskers tickle your hands and face.

I remembered how to cloud bust on blissful sunny afternoons.

I remembered what a wonder an unfolding flower was, sitting with a cuppa watching a poppy unfurl before my very eyes.

I remembered how magical the dappled sunlight through a leaf canopy is.

I learnt mindfulness.

I remembered what is what to take my time to do things, no quick 'pop' to the shops.

I remembered the taste of a long morning cuppa and a gentle slow start to the day, and the joyous taste of a second one sitting in the garden in my PJ's.

I remembered that I could cook, not banana bread but having and taking the time to select ingredients and create meals from scratch.

I remembered the glorious forage fest on my door step when I made and drank the most delicious Elderflower cordial.

I learnt to relax.

I remembered how much I love my family and what they mean to me.

I remembered what it is to have my arms ache for a hug with my children and my parents.

I remembered the mischief of a caught eye of a friend and the laughter that follows.

I remembered what it is to miss people.

I learnt to appreciate everyone I love. More. So Much More

I remembered  to take the time daily to really spend time with the Goddess.

I remembered how to see Her in all the beauty around me, in the fields, the woods and in my home

I remembered how to hear Her voice in the wind, in the rain and in the silence.

I remembered the joy of stillness and meditation.

I learnt to walk my path with my Goddess all over again.

Have a Blessed Week x x