Absolutely Shameless


Courtesy of NeemSanctuary : https://www.facebook.com/neemsanctuary/

A dear friend posted this meme in our Moon Circle group page last week and it really struck a chord with me. It's so joyously simple - there is that old adage that a problem shared is a problem halved and as long as you don't tell your new best frenemy and they share it all over social media before you've even had a chance to regret your honesty, it really is true.

I was lying there last night in the wee small hours between a snoring husband and cat thinking how very true this is. Many is the time I've laid there tossing and turning, consumed with some worry or remembered embarrassment that the shame demons have gleefully resurrected from 1995 to torment me with, not last night though, I was just being profound (check me out) and crafting sage words for this blog that I cannot for the life of me remember this morning! Luckily for me, himself is very good with dealing with tears at 2 am, cuddling them away with a cheerful and devoted "come here you narna!" but of course he also works away.....

Our Moon Circle was last Friday and before we had even started the conversation turned to a let's call it a 'romantic encounter' of the week that was a bit of a disaster to say the least, cue supportive comments and understanding murmurs all round, when I say that I mean laughter and shrieks of delighted shock, followed by "that happened to me!" and a noisy screeching crescendo of similar tales and salacious confessions. We laughed, cried, whooped, snorted and wept with hilarity and glee, very thankful for the wide range of feminine hygiene products that are available these days. the embarrassment and shame demons took one look at us and scarpered into the night, tails firmly between their legs.

Source unknown - happy to add!

All jokes aside, these were embarrassing situations rather than one of utter shame and humiliation and many of these were being viewed through the kaleidoscope of time and acceptance, you can't merely laugh off the visceral emotions grief, domestic abuse or rape for example. Somewhere further down the line though, beginning to unpack the burden of shame into the warm supportive light of a circle built on mutual respect and non judgement, fortified by understanding, caring and empathy which has evolved into love and sisterhood has a balm all of it's own and can allow deeper healing to start. Even if that is only holding a safe and sacred space and being witness to the emotions and pain, hand holding and passing the tissues - we've done plenty of that in our circle too, sometimes there are no words just the listening and honouring of the pain or events, watching as it is woven in and out of the tapestry of life.


Venus of Willendorf Photo: Wikimedia Commons GNU FDL

Last night however I amused the insomniac facet of myself with the Goddess and Shame - wracking my brains for Goddesses who were bowed down with shame for being themselves for being beautiful, clever or wild and free with their love? I couldn't see the Venus of Willendorf being a figure of ridicule for her voluptuousness. For their acts of retribution or revenge?  I struggled, most decent Goddesses worth their salt seemed to have roared their love, their anger or vengeance from the top of the nearest mountain without a shred of self consciousness. Certainly the earlier civilisations seemed to have been oblivious (hurrah!) to the concept of body shaming, slut shaming and all the other toxic restraints that modern society and the media inflicts on itself.


Aidos and Nemesis looking a bit judgy....  

I found a Greek Goddess Aidos, goddess of shame, modesty, humility and respect who was also confusingly a concept of shame and was considered a personification of it. She seemed to be more about honourable behaviour than judginess, though interestingly she was a close companion of Nemesis - Goddess of vengeance and retribution and they were definitely more about pointing the finger outwards rather than inward reflection. Hmmm something to ponder upon!



Courtesy of Gloria Steinem/Enlightened Consciousness


I was just considering how to finish and this popped up, it's either serendipity and the work of the Goddess or Big Brother really is watching me. Either way it sums it up for me. Those stories told and retold in safe havens of trust not only start to send the shame and humiliation demons packing in defeat but also help to heal more than just the person telling releasing their burden of shame, but also those who have felt it in the past and those who will feel it in the future.


Have  a Blessed Week x x 

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