Birthday and Easter Celebrations

Easter Card From One of My Service Users

Happy Easter! 

There I said it - out loud and I didn't spontaneously combust or fall writhing to the floor at the wrath of any deity who feels slighted by my Goddessy sharing of seasonal joy! I've got a bee in my Easter bonnet about that sort of thing at the moment, having witnessed some online snobbery and arguments raging on about who is right with their 'true' understanding of Ostara /Eostre /Easter /Ishtar with people calling each other out and screaming they've got it wrong - as if any of us can know any more than our heart tells us and what resonates within us! I'm right with me and that's all that matters. 
I was made this lovely Easter card by one the gents who attends one of the day services I manage and put it up the minute I got in, delighted that he wanted to send me seasonal blessings in his own way, whatever his faith or customs. 

Ready to Celebrate...

As per usual I was looking forward to relaxing and spending some time with my family, a delicious meal or two, a couple of glasses of wine and of course lots of chocolate! This year of course we had the added blessing of 14 of us along with 2 dogs spending the whole weekend in a beautiful 17th century farmhouse and cottages at Nutley Edge to celebrate my Mum's 70th birthday. Luckily she took the surprise of some more additional family members joining us very well and I am still here to tell the tale! 

The Neighbours

We were surrounded by symbols of Ostara and Easter, some very tame chickens, who kindly laid us some wonderful fresh eggs for breakfast and some fabulously plump pregnant ewes that came right up to the edge of their field right next to our cottage patio to investigate us in the mornings as well as hundreds of wild rabbits than ran backwards and forwards all day long much to the keen interest of the dogs Scrumpy and Marley.  The fields were beginning to burst into life with wild flowers, the banks of the railway tracks when we visited the nearby Bluebell Railway steam train were covered in primroses and the soft drone of the odd passing

Mum's Cake - Daisies are her Favourite Flower

bee was reported too - all signs from Goddess that the land is refreshed and life is regenerating - whatever and whoever you believe in!
As well as making Mum's birthday cake, I had let myself in for catering for all 14 of us, something which evolved into some amazing team work with cousins and bonding with my Brother's girlfriend Nikki, especially whilst cooking up family feast of roast lamb, when we managed to over parboil some potatoes for roasting, ended up with 100 percent more mashed potatoes than we had anticipated, had to hastily peel a few more as well as creating what we jokingly called 'Nutley Mess' - adding some spare shallots, garlic and herbs that I had thrown in the car at the last minute, which became known as 'sad potatoes' and were devoured! Luckily I had already made a gluten and wheat free nut and vegetable loaf for the veggies amongst us, that has been the source of requests for help from Goddess when I had called her in on the Friday

Marley Enjoying the Warmth of the Fire

I made it - it's odd that whenever I do that before cooking, there always seem to be plenty of oohs, aahs and appreciative noises - She didn't let down this time either! 

Trying to find any time, space or more importantly peace for daily rituals was difficult to say the least. I managed to sneak a few precious quiet moments by the fire with the dogs to catch my inner balance and ground myself in between catering for and socialising with everyone. The fire which seemed very appropriate for the season and the energy of the maiden Goddess, also very quickly became the focus of the farmhouse for everyone else, if I remember rightly 'hearth' is Latin for 'focus' or the other way round! Either way, they are definitely connected and it's not hard

My Morning View

to see why. I also managed to find a few moments of peace and for some reflection on the patio of our cottage first thing in the morning before the entire clan awoke - who couldn't find a tranquil few minutes with view like this over the fields and Forest with sheep, chickens, rabbits and a cat called Charlie for company as well as some horses grazing in the distance and various birds of prey hovering over head?
All in all, a totally fantastic celebration was had by all three generations of our extended family, most importantly Mum loved it and will probably forgive me by her next birthday, just! It was truly beautiful to watch all the family members chatting with each other over the course of the weekend, those related by marriage as well as blood, finding common ground and topics

So Very Mead!

to discuss, sharing laughter and jokes, reminiscing about the old days and making new memories that will one day be the youngest family members tales of their youth to tell their grand children as the wheel continues to turn. We told the four 'children' now aged 18 to 23 (who weren't too big to get involved in a hunt for over 40 hidden small chocolate eggs for the record) tales of our varying childhoods, stories of our Grandparents our Parents and  our Uncles and Aunts stories - characters from black and white photographs brought  to full colour and to life around a fire like our ancestors must have done before us for millennia..
Apparently I am already a Wife, Daughter, Mother, Sister, Niece, Cousin and Godmother (Goddessy Wild Woman - we decided was a better description) of Myth and Legend and was given a bottle of Spiced Lindisfarne Mead by Emma my beautiful little cousin and Goddess Daughter (instead of God Daughter) as she has become, who saw it when visiting Holy Island last month and thought of me - Awesome! How Blessed am I with these wonderful people in my life?

I Hope You All had a Wonderful and Blessed Easter Holiday x x x

Ostara Blessings

Ostara Primroses

Ostara blessings to you all! 
I hope you all had a wonderful time celebrating with family and friends if that is your custom or are simply enjoying the return of longer days and the returning light if Ostara is not on your path.... 

We started celebrating early this week with a 'quiet' Saturday night of family bowling as the start (the only one she thought) of my wonderful Mum's 70th Birthday celebrations. Not that it was never going to be quiet with 10 of us laughing and shrieking our way through the multi lane breakdown and move to another lane, all 3 hours of it, topped off by a celebratory take away! It was at this point that we broke the news to her loveliness, that despite her no fuss/no party embargo on promise of actual and severe bodily harm, that we had sneakily arranged a lovely weekend away with all the family next weekend in the beautiful Ashdown Forest, just over an hours drive away. Strange, I got the blame for arranging it, me, really ? - despite my protestations of blame at my Dad and Brother! I guess one look at our faces and she knew the truth straight away! Just how do Mum's do that?Luckily she was delighted at the thought of it, even more so that we are taking the dogs too. She think's that there are 8 of us going, I 'forgot' to mention the 6 other beloved family members driving down from Yorkshire and Norfolk......  I may actually burst with excitement before then!

Despite all the shenanigans (I love that word)

Pre Sunrise Medway Valley.....

on Saturday I managed to haul myself out of bed at 4 on Sunday morning to pick my friend Shelley up to meet our friends from NWK Pagan Green Circle to watch the sunrise at the Coldrum Stones at nearby Trottiscliffe (pronounced Trosley). We arrived about 45 minutes before dawn and were lucky enough to be greeted by haunting owl hoots echoing through the darkness as we made our way to the stones and then the rustling and cackling of some lively nearby pheasants, hidden in the undergrowth next to where we were seated on the top of the mound. Now when I say we watched the sunrise, I mean it in the loosest British sense and I mean it got lighter, slowly! 

Rain Energy

We'd had a conversation earlier about an ancient presence that someone had felt before there, a presence who had been watching people holding ceremonies on the mound with wry amusement that they were on top of the mound as opposed to lower down at the entrance to the burial chamber, which stayed with me whilst I took time to ground myself again before our simple ceremony where we called in the 4 corners and elements of the circle and offered hot cross buns and mead to the Goddess and God of the land - as I've said before this particular group is an eclectic multi path group and we all respect each others beliefs and incorporate all in our very simple ceremonies. How the world could use that principle at the moment. 
I love this photo of the stones in the half light, it was spitting with rain as I took it, but has left an amazing image - odd where they start and end though! The distant lights of Maidstone on the horizon looked to me  like the

The Clootie Tree

curious peeping eyes of giants... it must have been the early start getting to me!
The clootie tree there always confuses me, part of me loves it and part of me worries about the environmental impact of the offerings left on it's boughs. Traditionally these were rags dipped in the sacred waters of springs and applied to the bodies of those seeking healing, later they were hung in trees to honour the spirits of the land and the ancestors, a practice continued after Christianity came at saint's wells as well as the practice of leaving offerings or votives, which in turn lent it's name to votive candles etc. 
Today however, the ribbons, wind chimes and tokens festooning the tree felt like part of the site, I was particularly taken with this hand made dream catcher that spun in the early morning light. As the final part of our simple ceremony we planted some sunflowers to take home mark the Spring Equinox and to reflect and the growth of personal ideas and projects. 

Ostara Altar

After a quick power nap and a stint as Mum's taxi, I headed off to Cheriton near Folkestone for the afternoon as I had been invited by the lovely Jenny to join her local group of like minded ladies for their Spring Equinox Ceremony and to spend some quality time connecting with Goddess as well as exploring and celebrating the Spring Equinox energies and blessings - how could I refuse an invitation like that? 
A warm welcome awaited me from friends yet to be made and after introductions we added our contributions to the altar - I had found some beautiful 'easter' butterflies, not very traditional I grant you, but the whole cocoon and change concept felt egg-like to me - new beginnings, transformations etc.  We called in our circle, all of us taking our place in the wheel of the year, mine being the Mother, The Grain Goddesses - of course as well calling in Goddess in all Her guises especially related to Ostara/Spring Equinox.
The name that I had been pulled to from

Roman Goddess Flora at Pompeii*

the list I was offered and chosen to research was Flora a minor Roman Goddess of flowers, youthfulness and fertility, depicted her on the walls at Pompeii. She was particularly connected with blossom and fruit bearing plants - appropriate offerings to her being fruit, honey and grain - of course! She was also called upon to protect the crops from the fungal infection known as rust which has cropped up before on my path, back in April and my post 'Connections'. Wry smile here, I might have known! 
A beautiful afternoon ensued, discussions about our precious maiden selves, lovingly looked back on with tenderness, humour and forgiveness,  as well as a few head shakes and plenty of ribald teenage energy! We followed this with intentions for the future and seeds sewn, all frankly discussed and nurtured in the womb room of our circle as it became

Ostara Eggs

apparent and known as for evermore! 
Personal goals and wishes moved forward from secret thoughts hidden away in the deepest part of our psyches to potential possibilities, all the way to 'why the hell nots?'!! We lovingly and playfully decorated eggs for the altar and also egg shells which we planted cress seeds in as well, now adorning my window sill altar at home! We finished the afternoon by being led in a wonderful meditation, before sharing a yummy feast together - what a perfect afternoon with some amazing women, proper legitimate Goddessing! 
Thank You Ladies - Just what I needed!!



Wishing You All A Wonderful Easter, however you are celebrating - I will be nestled in a beautiful farmhouse with my wonderful and beloved family celebrating Mum's 70th Birthday in style - chocolate and scrumptious food will be eaten, wine will be drunk, board games will be played, dogs will be walked whatever the weather and more precious memories will be made and stored in our forever files. 

Have A Blessed Week x x 

* Photo courtesy of Pinterest

Tame Adventures In Wild Places

Crocuses in Mum and Dad's Garden

Well Spring appears to have well and truly sprung here in Kent, but what a week..... my teenage maiden hardly got a look in as I was busy with work, zipping around Kent, I think she must have lent me some energy to get through some rather long days, without raising too many sardonic eyebrows or throwing huge temper tantrums! However by the end of the week she seemed to throw in the towel with a tired hissy fit as I began to go down with a nasty case of man flu. My adult head was telling me stay in bed and take it easy but the noisy headstrong hooligan inside me was hell bent on sending me out and about to explore and walk the land, albeit with my lovely Mum and Dad and their dog Scrumpy Jack, who by their own admission thoroughly enjoyed their third childhood as they called it when they became grandparents! 

Jew's Mallow Or
Corchorus Olitorius

Off we headed to nearby Herne Bay laughingly mocking our 'wild' explorer's spirit and sense of adventure, it's a long standing family joke that we 3 have all inherited the family stay at home genes... between us we rack up an incredibly tiny combined distance of 17 miles from our places of birth to current homes - Dad tipping the scales with a stonking 12 miles of his own in that mix - phew! It almost definitely wasn't our ancestors that explored the new world we joked, we'd have been the ones keeping the home fires burning and tilling the land or more likely pottering in the garden with flowers as you can see from the photos of their beautiful garden!
It was a mystery to us what made people push themselves to such extreme and unknown environments, just well, just because......not enough of an option for us. Not very Goddessy I mused, yet as my Mum pointed out we both found the courage and strength to venture forth on our own

Hellebore

spiritual journeys and paid no heed to people who thought that we were mistaken, foolish, doomed to fall off the edge of the world or be eaten by sea monsters...  Courage of convictions we encouraged and consoled ourselves, was measurable in more ways than just miles, fathoms or leagues! 
Right on cue, as we arrived at Herne Bay one of the first things we saw apart from the sea was a model of the air craft of Amy Johnson, the pioneering English Aviatrix who was the first woman to fly solo from Australia to Britain before crash landing and dying in the Thames estuary in 1941 just off the coast of Herne Bay. I did take some photos of it and one of the information board about it as I felt it was symbolic especially after we what we had been talking about in the car. It seemed particularly poignant in honouring the brave women who had made their stand for equality, but later I somehow managed to empty a bottle of water into my hand bag and all over the camera....new camera required, thank goodness for camera phones.....

Beach Combers Haul

After a stroll along the beach at Herne Bay and the 4 of us searching for hag stones - the dog burrowing like mad with me, we had to make do some shells, a fossil, quartz, pebbles and sea glass for my altar - not a bad haul! Whilst beach combing carefree with the dog at my heels, I saw the towers of the old church at Reculver on the headland a few miles along the coast and pointed them out... Luckily my parents were feeling indulgent and decided we'd go up there for our picnic and a wander round. 
Now obviously when I say picnic, I mean a cheese and pickle roll in the back of their car whilst fending off the dog, we didn't sit outside with a hamper and blanket - it was too cold, we'll wait until after Easter for that, we're English not crazy.

Old and New 

Bracing is a descriptive term that springs to mind, windswept is a romantic one, the truth was it was that cold up on the headland that frost bite was a distinct possibility, so it was a very brief exploration of the ruins  and a much longer one of the warmer visitors centre. What we discovered as we thawed out, was that the ruins were of a chapel known as St Mary the Virgin, built on the site of a 1st/2nd Century Roman fort as part of a mission to convert the Pagan locals of the British Isles to Christianity in about the  7th Century - as you can imagine this intrigued and amused me a great deal. 
Part of the Roman fort walls remain and some stones and tiles  have been recycled as part of the more 'modern' 12th century towers known locally as the Sisters. As you can imagine there are tales of ghosts, a weeping woman, a child crying as well as Roman centurions. It's a wild, windswept place  with the wind leaving little shelter anywhere and it is very

Atmospheric Ruins

atmospheric. I can imagine the wind howling round and it being scary after dark without too much trouble! I left with the feeling that there was an older history there that had disappeared into the annals of time, just as the land had fallen into the sea, including the Fort boundaries and part of the land and the graveyard there. There must have been good reasons to build on the windy headland, it has been suggested it was to keep out marauding Frankish and Saxon pirates - more brave or desperate people looking for new land or treasure, I wonder which beliefs and deities they brought with them.... I bet my lot were last off the boats, muttering darkly about being warmer back home and looking hopefully for signs of a Grain Goddess amongst the wind battered grasses. It may have taken them a while and an epic journey on a very long path not straying too far to start with, with many pit stops just to sit and look back on where they had come from before cautiously planning the next stage, but they got there in the end.....

 Have  A Blessed Week and Keep Exploring -Whatever Your Path x x 

Learning Curves

First Few Steps On  My Path...

Well the teenage Maiden is still lurking but at least I seem to have progressed from the one that is full of teenage angst about boys, nuclear war, spots and being taller than everyone else - at  5' 9" or 1.75 metres with awfully giant feet, size 8 - I felt like a giantess and not in a good way! I remember a stand off with one half of a pair of boots  - the only size 8 in stock I burst into tears (flipping hormones) and lost. The term Amazonian had yet to filter through to my ego along with any general understanding of my unique magnificence. Oh the Irony! I look back in awe now at the unstoppable energy, freedom, firmness of flesh and the whole world rolling ahead of me...
Anyway, enough of that Maiden, I think I've aged a bit and moved on to the Sixth Form now  - this one is feeling a bit more feisty, anarchistic, curious, eager to explore and ready to let themselves loose on the world! It was about this time that I first found and read The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries in between hiding it from my Mum it seemed so radical (she'd probably have loved it funnily enough) and started considering possibilities and concepts that had only previously flitted in and out of my conciousness in dreams and random thoughts. I was lucky to have some inspired teachers, 2 in particular - both

Rebel With A Cause

men, how they coped with a daily hormone flood at an all girls school, I'll never know, but they recognised the gifts we didn't yet realise we possessed. When stuck for an idea for my extended essay for English Literature A Level - something like 5000 words, my English teacher CJ (That's what we called him) suggested I wrote about Jane Austen as a feminist writer, after nearly wetting myself laughing I realised he was serious and went back for a second read. I came away with a B so I must have done something right! Odd that a male teacher and a long dead writer of romantic fiction taught me so much about more subtle threads of feminism. My other super teacher was the fabulous Mr Leighton, a left wing, radical tough talking Sociology teacher who taught us to question, to ask and to come to our own conclusions, always telling us that if we could back it up with intelligent theory we had a good argument. When we left he gave us all iconic postcard, mine as you can see is of Karl Marx superimposed on Marlon Brando as Johnny In The Wild One. On the back he'd written 'Find Your Cause'.... it took me a while Sir, but thank you! One of my treasures still, 27 years later. These days he'd probably get a disciplinary for handing out pictures of male role models to girls, or getting taken to the pub by a large gang of girls as a leaving do, we did that too!

Map Of The Caves

Not necessarily a link to Ker in any way shape or form, but these years were clearly shaping my particular awesome tangled double helix of DNA as it began to take shape and steered, lurched and crawled at times towards my path.
To indulge my Inner Maiden a little more, I finished off the week doing something I wanted to do for Mother's Day, my last little kick of teenage selfishness. Well after checking with Mum that we could do our Mother's Day stuff in the evening that is! I spent the morning and lunchtime with my lovely friends at North West Kent Pagan Green Circle, first at a moot and then a spooky and thrilling exploration of Chislehurst Caves with our own very special guide, exactly the sort of thing I relished doing late at night with like minded

Being Watched?

friends and fellow crazies in my youth! The caves are actually chalk mines that date back over 2500 years, with Druid, Saxon and Roman artefacts found in different areas, which were used to date and chart the excavation of the site. 22 miles of underground tunnels, that was once a temporary home to 15000 local people as an air raid shelter during the second world war, is bound to have it's fair share of ghost stories and tall tales.  I won't lie it's pitch black down there, you need to carry oil lamps round and it's definitely eerie, I'd have been terrified if we'd got lost or the lamps went out!  I knew of it's spooky reputation so made sure I grounded thoroughly before I left home. It certainly felt that someone was watching us all the way round, especially when you're the last one in the line and you can hear whispered conversation, something the guide said he often heard too when I spoke to him later! Cue some strategic elbowing to the front of the line... Judging by this photo we certainly weren't alone.  Don't be fooled by the apparent light in this photo, it's a pretty impressive flash!

Wall Carving

A local artist got permission about 20 years ago to create a wall carving to reflect her view of the Pagan aspect of the caves use throughout the years, it must have taken her ages - rather her than me that's for sure! Despite the feeling of being watched, hearing snatched conversations in empty chambers,  the terrifying blackness and total and utter reliance of trust in the tour guide, who took us on a fabulous hour and a half walk round this labyrinth, it was amazing! I could almost feel the arrogance and fearlessness of those teenage years, the utter conviction that we are forever young if not practically immortal as I bravely stopped and lingered in empty chambers and explored corridors, albeit with a companion, my ears on alert for strange noises and eyes straining, almost willing movement and dark shadows to appear. That and the fact that I knew I was surrounded by a bubble of light and safety, protected in my own little Goddess cocoon with

I Told You It Was Dark In There!

my fiesty Maiden.... 

Anyway clearly I have lived to tell the tale and survived to take a delicious Mother's Day afternoon tea up to my lovely Mum and spend some time with my precious children there too. A lovely family tea and evening that turned into a spirited political debate about the EU referendum and politics in general started by Mum and my son, who said I was giving up this fiery Maiden  energy just yet - she was thoroughly enjoying  herself after all she had Mum, Me and Sophie to energise and stir up!

Have A Blessed and Fearless Week x x 

A Truculent Maiden

Aged 2

Now, I don't know about anyone else but when I envisaged the Maiden energy, I had a romantic picture in my head of a sweet freckled blonde child smiling sweetly, giggling infectiously, pig tails flying behind her as she runs playfully tumbling through long grass, stopping suddenly, lost in the moment to earnestly admire a butterfly paused in flight on a pedestal of grass, or is that too much like a scene from Little House on the Prairie? 
Believe it or not I actually was a sunny natured, blonde freckled smiling cutie.... ok a very long time ago before I went through a myriad of hair colour changes -mousy brown, gingery, mid brown and finally darker brown before the grey made an entrance and I discovered the wonderful shades

Aged 4

that can be applied - black and purple being notable faux pas! 
To me the maiden conjured up images of boundless energy and curiosity, summer days, scuffed knees, innocence and childish confidence in all things good - albeit clad in dodgy seventies colours and styles, numerous shocking hair cuts and many goofy gappy smiles.
So this is what I envisaged when calling in Maiden Energy, really, honestly you'd think by now it really should be no surprise to me that very rarely do you get what you think you need - but what the Great Mother knows you need as a lesson, a comfort or just because. 
Instead of the fabulous childlike energy that had me jumping around in puddles and spinning around in fields before, I awoke last week and felt that I was somehow magically transformed onto the pages or film set of Freaky Friday ...moody, hormonal, grumpy and spotty - yes I'd woken up a teenager full of shouty, door slamming, angry, argumentative

Aged 14 - Me and Dad 

angst. Just what you need in your 40's - which is probably how my parents felt too!
Apparently I loved a stroppy stomp up the stairs, slammed more than my fair share of doors, including slamming one glass one shut so hard with my backside that I shattered it and had many a melt down about my hair. Of course I've changed since then - mainly because I no longer have the energy to stomp up and down the stairs, I have to pay for my own doors now and  as for my hair well maybe that still stresses me out more than it should -  I'd rather have that looking right than worry about make up! I always worked hard at school and still like to give work or any project

'Happy' In Spain - Aged 16

I'm involved in my all without slamming to many doors or too many strops! This week after working some long hours I seemed to hibernate in my teen cave of listening to loud music via the lap top instead of a walk man, avidly reading about witches - no change or watching too much rubbish on tv - very unusual for me or loudly voicing my political opinion every time certain MP's dared to appear on the screen, maybe not so unusual! My main worry was my CBA (Can't Be Arsed) attitude to anything and everything that didn't suit me - including daily practice and calling Goddess in, meditating and don't even get me on housework or responsible spending! Mercifully a boozy night out with  a dear friend and bad influence (love her really) was just what the teenage

Thoughtful vs Moody - Aged 19

agony aunt called for, with the 44 year old head remembering a pint of water before bed  to stave off a hangover! Moody Mare has lingered and it took forever to knuckle down and write but just like A Level level Essays I got there in the end and felt the rush of pride in a job well done, however nerdy that may have been! 
So what has my truculent maiden taught me this week? That it is ok to challenge everything and dig your heels in, to drop out for a bit to catch up with yourself and to sit with the emotions or energy that are whirling round you for a time, you can't always be on top of it all - a week off every now and then is just fine. As for dropping off your path, well that's ok too, a humble shuffle back amid some earnest  and honest soul searching may not be such a bad thing. 
Only thing I'm quite so sure about is letting your Mum choose your photos for your blog..... 

Have A  Blessed Week x x