Looking Inwards

Altar Candle

Well I don't know about anywhere else but it's more like Autumn than Summer here today! All this water has certainly reflected my need to go with the flow over the last few days - I had lots of Goddess activities planned for this weekend after a really long week which just about left room for daily devotions but what a surprise - all change! First I had a migraine from hell which meant that I needed to take myself off to bed for a couple of hours instead of attending a Holistic Fayre organised by some friends where I was going to be doing some drumming as well as hopefully getting some divine inspiration and then due to circumstances beyond our control we've had to cancel our Maidstone Pagans moot today. 

Well worth a read..

So, what to do with myself instead? Listen to my body for starters - as Michelle my Discovery Course Priestess always told us, you cannot serve from an empty vessel. Cue for plenty of sleep, lots of snuggly cat cuddles and time to catch up on some reading! I spent a fair amount of my weekend reading this - Stolen Images by Peter Knight - a fascinating look at Pagan Symbolism and how it became part of Christian worship...well worth a read.
As my lovely friend Lu pointed out this morning the rain had a curious effect - it was as she said very 'still' this morning - less cars and people about even in our quiet neck of the woods, perfect quality time in an empty house to talk with my Goddess, do some chanting, and indeed maracas waving followed by a fabulous rain inspired meditation - which  led me deeper into my

My Kitchen Window Altar

journey that yet again had a healing theme that darted backwards and forwards through time so vividly it was like watching a film. 
I thought I'd share some photos of my kitchen altar, from day one it felt like the most natural place to have one for me. My kitchen is multi purpose room at the front of my house - the first room you enter, complete with large dining table, comfy rocking chair, plenty of snoozing cats and a dresser to hold additional kitchen and 'Goddess' stuff; books, candles, incense, altar bits - you name it! It has always been the central room in our house, full of smells from the oven; cakes, jam/chutney or wine making, as well as focal point for homework, family and friends

chattering and celebration planning. More recently adorned by headdresses, drums, rattles and sewing bits! Perfect place for me  to celebrate Goddess. Most of the items on my altar have a special significance.  I bought this blue glass star fish in a charity shop after asking Goddess for something watery and have filled it for Litha with pretty pebbles from beaches that we have visited this year.

The candle at the of the page is one myself and my daughter chose, originally to decorate our water themed bathroom, whilst the shell was a present from a much loved cousin's visit to the Bahamas and the jewelled dragonfly (a life long totem of mine) was a 'just because' present from my other best friend Tracie who knows how much I love them - so much so that they were the theme at our wedding. I also have this postcard of the Yorkshire Moors, which was actually sent to me by Friends of the Earth asking me to support a cause they were fighting

- particularly relevant to the warrior/protector energy of Kerah as I feel Her, as well as a gorgeous rose quartz heart given to me by my friend Diana, many years ago, in the very early days of my journey. To me all these items represent love in its many forms and guises, perfect for my altar.

This weekend I've also taken the opportunity to get jam jars and bottles ready for the coming harvest of

Apple Wine ready
 to go....

fruit and veg for jams, chutneys, curds and wines of every variety! I even 'found' 5, yes 5 demi johns of apple wine to bottle to add to the other 60 plus bottles maturing in the corner of the lounge of wines such as nectarine, blackberry, peach and apricot as well as some experimental cucumber wine smells like melon, tastes like gin and  marrow rum which is very sweet and almost chocolatey! I'm pretty sure we'll be adding to that this year too from the allotment and hedgerows, as well as gifts of gluts from elsewhere.

Finally, as I was waiting to pick my daughter up from work tonight, I was mulling over my lack of exciting 'Goddessy' stuff AGAIN this week and wishing, not without a considerable amount of envy, that I was able to get to conference in Glastonbury this coming week or get to a Lammas celebration, when with sudden clarity it occurred to me that my upcoming 'mundane' week of work, pilates, swimming, a night in with the girls, while we plan something special for my daughter's 18th birthday and less mundane highlight of my lovely Dad's birthday meal on Saturday are all in their own right real life celebrations and workings of my Goddess! Safeguarding and protecting at work, nurturing my vessel, planning a rite of passage for my beautiful girl, a very special moon lodge and a fantastic celebration of fruitfulness - a birthday meal at Lammas for a wonderful man with his wife, children and grandchildren as he reaches 73...... With a massive 'Doh!' I realised that I don't need to worry about planning Goddessy things, they happen anyway, She is such a part of my life that in my celebrations I am already honouring Her and that I am 'living it' authentically without having to wave a flag or bang a drum to prove it. Valuable and thought provoking lesson...

                  Wishing Everyone at Conference a Fabulous Week!

           Have a Blessed Week, However you Celebrate Lammas! x x

Realising the Mother Line

It seemed such normal
drive to work...

After a busy but mundane week, nothing out of the ordinary, I was beginning to wonder what I would find to write about in my blog. I have however learnt by now that if nothing else I should expect the unexpected, I asked Ker for inspiration and imagination in my daily conversations with Her, trusting and content in the knowledge that something would inspire me! Still it was a surprise when I had a rather odd thing happen to me on Friday morning. I  was coming along the main road when I could see a couple in a dark blue Jaguar waiting to pull out of Oatfield Drive, where I wanted to turn into. As I was slowing down I flashed my lights and waved them out. The lady who was the passenger, smiled, waved back and turned to who I thought was probably her husband, when he didn't  pull out I flashed my lights again and waited patiently, again the lady smiled, waved and turned to the man, yet he still didn't move. I decided to move forward and turn as there were cars starting to queue behind me. As I came past the car I looked to grin at the lady, roll my eyes in an "honestly, men" way but  to my surprise she had gone and the chap was sitting alone in the car! After a double take I finally managed to convince myself that she really was no longer  there. It's not the first time I've seen spirits but never in a car before.... When I got to work, I told to my lovely friend Liz (who is an absolute font of knowledge about all things weird, wonderful and spiritual) about it  and was interested to hear her view that it was lovely to think that a spirit was staying close to someone and looking out for them compared to my "well that was weird" point of view. I hadn't thought of it like that before. It made me wonder who is with me at times, unseen and unheard.

I'm sure Mark is growing his
own Cider Orchard!

On Saturday we went the allotment and were shocked at how much everything had grown over the week, particularly the wretched weeds. As luck would have it according to the lunar calender, this weekend was particularly auspicious for weeding, tidying and maintenance!  With a bit of help from our neighbour's petrol strimmer and plenty of elbow grease we soon had it looking better. The apples are growing quickly now, the early potatoes are ready to dig, some of the peas were ready to pick and the dwarf beans are looking a bit more lively. The three sisters planting is looking great, the bean plants are flowering in white and purple and the corn appears to like having such close companions, I decide against buying  

Sun through the Pear trees

and putting squashes and courgettes in yet as I thought I'd make sure the corn and beans had a chance to take off first, so they will hopefully go in next weekend as well as some more peas in a nearby plot. Whilst we were there I lit a candle and an incense stick and asked for simple blessings of sun and rain on the land as I have before. I was hoping to meditate but it was starting to get busier, it wasn't the people that put me off it was the increasing noise and some very active crickets that pervaded my thoughts and made me laugh. It was beautiful to just sit and listen to the busy insects and allotmenteers alike.

Honouring my Motherline

After that, we spent a lovely chilled afternoon with my Mum and Dad, after lunch Mum and I ended up looking through loads of old family photographs and chatting about family history. Now this in itself is far from uncommon, Mum has traced the family history many generations back in all the branches of the family tree that she could since I can remember and before the wealth of internet information became available, I accompanied her on many a grave finding mission or parish register search throughout Kent, where my ancestors have lived for centuries. On Saturday I was telling Mum how when I had seen my Uncle last week he had told me that I reminded him of their Mum and he could see a resemblance  and mannerisms, which no one has ever told me before! All of that side of the family were/are short and petite with dark hair and eyes - (think Pictish!) whereas I have always been tall, fair skinned blue eyed and well, sturdy - far more Anglo-Saxon! This led to us looking at photos with fresh eyes, Mum telling me more about my Nan's life and agreeing with my Uncle that there are likenesses. I always felt I was far more like my Dad's family. I was still struggling to accept that this was what I was learning this week from Ker, all the 'it's too early for the Mother archetype' arguments and 'save that for Lammas' etc. 

However, you know when you know....?! 

Last night had me researching the Mother Line theories and thoughts and I tried, I really did, to understand mitochondrial DNA ie what is passed down through the Mother Line, and if I've got this right we all in theory inherit from all four grandparents but proportionally more from our maternal grandmothers as that

Aylesford -home to a century
of my Mother Line 

can only come through the female line and not so much is received from our paternal grandmothers as it is not passed on in it's entire complexity through the male line. Anyone who knows more - please feel free to correct me! It inspired me to start writing poetry last night, something that I have always done in secret, which I will share maybe next week when I have 'completed' it as much as you ever do, this again made me look at my lovely Nan again, who was quite a prolific writer in her own way, despite her being a quiet private lady, we have a huge amount of letters that she wrote throughout her life, particularly during the second world war to her many brothers and my Granddad. Nan passed away when I was expecting her eldest great grandchild, my son Dan - who is more like her than anyone else!

Today I took flowers over to the family graves in the church you can see above in the picturesque village of Aylesford that was home to a century of women in my Mother Line and there are 4 generations at rest in the churchyard and whilst I didn't feel it was totally appropriate to do anything 'Goddessy' there, I placed flowers - pink, white and purple  carnations on all their 

Village Sign Depicting the
Local Ancient Stones at
Kits Coty

graves, remembered them and their names, thanked all these mothers in turn for their unknown blessings and gifts to me. The cottage Nan and her parents lived in is also in the above photo right by the famous and much photographed Aylesford Bridge. The village sign also depicts the local Standing Stones - Kits Coty that mean so much to me. 

So, I have books ordered to learn more about the Mother Line and ponder on it's importance to me, I have a poem to complete to share with you next week and I am beginning to understand the energies  flow, shift and alter, they don't always just begin and stop, whether that be Goddess or Sabbat energy or the flow of a bloodline or Motherline, I'm sure that Ker has plenty to share with me as I walk with Her as she did with all my Mothers that went before me and worked the land. I am writing this listening to Loreena McKennitt - and a particularly mournful but beautiful tune that sounded (if you will excuse my stereotype) very Jewish has just played - I just checked and it was called 'Sacred Shabbat' and is indeed Jewish in origin, interestingly a religion that measures the degree of a person's historic Judaism through the Mother's blood line and it's not lost on me that last week I visited a shrine dedicated to Mary, Mother of Jesus whilst we were on holiday.... I have much to learn!

Whilst I name and remember my Mother Line that I know of, that goes back to 1780 and is now Sophie, Claire, Margaret, Doris, Lily, Jane, Eliza and Mary...

                             I wish you all a Blessed Week x x 

Travelling Further Afield

Beach Altar - First Attempt

We've just come back from a beautiful couple of days in Norfolk, right by the beach just above Caister, in the unromantic sounding village of Scratby to be precise. Fortunately it was a lot nicer than it sounds- a beautiful unspoilt sandy beach, with the bare essentials of facilities and plenty of space. Apparently it's a Norse name- Skrauti meaning someone given to display* and 'by' meaning settlement - so now we know! (Sorry, I've always liked to know the wheres and whys!)
It was the first time I've been away for any length of time since I started my journey, so I had been wondering what to do about my altar - pack it up and take it with me or make a new one up there?

Stacking stones from
my second Altar

 
I decided to do the latter. So I dragged my long suffering husband  off and chose a quiet spot on the beach just as the sun was starting to set and we made a stack of flattish pebbles and simply surrounded it with two rings, one of white pebbles and one of blue. I did try with tea lights but it was a bit too windy, undeterred I grounded myself with the local elements and called Ker in as Kerah, adjusting my usual invocations for fruitful land and crops, to a fertile fish and sea life population and also a good catch or harvest for local fishermen.
I particularly liked this beach as there were dunes and sea grass and plants which looked gorgeous and helped me to feel I could tie it in with Ker as opposed to it solely being the preserve of watery or sea Goddesses.

Second Altar Selfie

Later in the week, on our last evening I went back to the same beach on my own and made a second altar this time a bit more ambitious - a spiral this time in the blue stone that was so readily available. A few people looked curiously as they walked past, but it was their dogs who came closer for a proper look, although once  I left, I looked down from the cliff and saw a few people wandering over to see what I had made and much to my delight took a photo before leaving it as it was.
Whilst  I was sitting there mulling over all the things

Beach Art

that She had shown to me and shared with me that week,  I realised that I was drawing on a black stone with a bit of flint and whilst I'm not expecting any awards or an exhibition at the Tate any time soon, I had managed to carve/mark a symbol of Goddess on it. Originally I was going to leave it there but after a bit more contemplating and meditation, I asked Goddess for Her blessing to take it, a lovely piece of quartz and a few pretty pebbles I had found whilst searching for my spiral stones home with me to adorn my altars at home in my kitchen and in the garden. I bathed them in the sea one more time and thanked Her for Her gift.

Wild Flowers by
 a Wheat Field

Whilst driving about in Norfolk there were plenty of signs for windmills but unfortunately we were never really close enough to one for me to get a photo or it was absolutely bucketing down and the shot was too blurred which was a bit disappointing. However Ker's presence was all around me all the time, first on our trip up to Blakeney Point to go on a boat trip to see the seals, as we drove through field after field of barley, oats, corn and wheat and then again as we drove on to Walsingham as we headed to the shrine there. 
We were just pulling out of a junction, amidst a blanket of fields when Mark pointed out this mural below, to me painted on the roadside of an empty looking house that was up for sale. Of course, I made him pull over so that I could have a look at it! I'm not entirely sure where we were - possibly between

between Holt and Brinton and I'm equally unsure what it's of exactly but it certainly caught my eye! It looks like Stonehenge in the back ground but  I'm not sure if it's a man or a woman - opinion is mixed here.What is the importance of the dragon, black wolves and a horned headdress, the snow, a staff with a sheep or goat skull(and jesters symbol?) as well as the musical instruments - a horn and a lyre? Not to mention the glowing necklace! As you may have gathered it has totally enthralled me, if anyone has any clue at all I'd love to hear it! I'll try not to be disappointed when it turns out to be an art student's flight of fancy!

Holy Well in the Shrine

After that excitement we headed to Walsingham to see the shrine and the holy well, both of which were beautiful. I wanted to visit as I was interested to see how old the original well was, as I suspected that this had been there long before any Christian shrine and possibly had pagan, maybe even Goddess roots. Unfortunately it was raining so much that we didn't brave the Abbey Grounds so I only managed to see the 'newer' well at the actual shrine which according to the visitor centre, dates back about a thousand years ago.

Shrine of Our Lady

The original shrine was built after a local wealthy widow, Lady Richeldis de Faverches had 3 visions of the Virgin Mary telling her to reconstruct the stable where Christ was said to be born, before being lost in the reformation and finally restored last century. The atmosphere in the shrine was amazing, I was lucky enough to have it to myself for a while and distinctly felt that the there was a very strong energy mingling with the incense and the smell of the candles. With no wish to offend any Catholics or Anglicans who may be reading this, I couldn't help concluding that our travels in mediation journeys and signs we receive from Goddess now and such visions that women like Richeldis had were really one

A Little piece of
Glastonbury in Norfolk!

and the same thing, only seen through differently conditioned hearts and minds, ours having been reopened in latter years by Goddess. 

It's a beautiful place to visit and I'm very glad that Richeldis was brave enough to push forward with her plans in such a male dominated era and build it, whoever she felt it was for. As I came out of the Shrine Chapel my eyes were pulled to a small plaque on the wall that said 'Glastonbury' - of course all the Abbeys that were at any point connected the shrine where there, but it was the one I saw first!

On the final  part of our journey home we stopped in Essex at Manningtree to have some lunch and then drove through Mistley as well. I had a headache when we getting close that didn't lift until we had left. We sat by the river as we had our lunch and I couldn't help but think of all the women

Once Places of Dread

who had lost their lives in the campaign of terror - the Witch Trials of Essex, Suffolk and as far as Norfolk in the mid 17th century, led by Matthew Hopkins. I was angry and sad for these women, who were in the main innocent of any crime other than being old, having cats or being healers or midwives, anyone following our paths would have been instantly guilty. I said a silent prayer for them as we sat overlooking the River Stour, a tidal estuary of boats forlornly marooned on mudflats and wondered if some of the local women managed to row or swim their way to safety before being captured. I hope so. It feels like there is a story in there somewhere!

So, back to Kent and back to work, and I'm sure there's plenty to do on the allotment this week, just to keep me busy.

                                       Have a Blessed Week x x

The Stour Estuary
at Manningtree   

Mistley Towers

* Reference: http://www.rosieandglenn.co.uk/TheLibrary/Places/Ormesby.htm

Making Sense

Greetings from a beautiful sunny Kent! 

I was fortunate enough to spend a couple of days this week hands on as staff as opposed to being stuck in my office as the boss, which meant I got to spend time with some of the amazing 'service users' (- I don't like that term, personally I prefer to say clients - as we work for them, but that's not the PC buzz word!) and to share a chilled picnic with them under this tree whilst watching a fountain spray from the middle of the pond at Goudhurst, just a couple of miles from where we work. It never fails to ground me and remind me why I do my job. 

I also attended a seminar on Safeguarding and the new Care Act this week, which had me wondering mid power point, how I had managed to overlook the fact that most of my work is based around protection and looking out for people's rights when I was struggling to interpret the energy of warrior and protector I have been feeling from my daily practice and conversations with  Kerah - no wonder I felt that energy so strongly! Talk about the truth being right under my nose. Finally, after another hectic week, tying up loose ends, I am now off for a whole glorious week...

I read a post on Facebook this week by a lady who is part of our ever growing Discovery circle whom I have yet to meet, but her chance 

post about feeling strangely connected to particular areas and places some due to  her family history  and others apparently randomly resonated strongly within me and made me reconsider my own favourite places and question what makes them so important to me - thank you 'S'. Since I was a little girl  I have always wanted to live in a windmill- not really surprising for a daughter of a Corn Goddess! I even wrote a piece of creative writing about the museum of my life (which was the theme of that particular class - not my ego!) called Windmill Cottage.  Also my own personal journey with Goddess and in particular with Ker has gained momentum over the last few years - not surprising when I see this road sign every morning as I arrive at work and drive past fields full of the fruits of the Goddess nearly everyday of my life .

Tintagel Castle in Cornwall, where my husband took this photo of me on our honeymoon has to be one of my favourite places ever. We were there for hours, and I mean hours - good job he loves me! I have no known connection at all but felt as though I knew it with all my heart and didn't want to leave. Apart form the obvious sounding name Cornwall or Kernow as it is known locally which apparently has no recorded connection with Ker or any Grain/Corn/Wheat/Oat even harvest Goddess that I have been able to find as yet. However the original tribes of Cornwall according to Roman historians were called (by them at least) the Cornovii - it's Latin translation being 'the people of the horn' which could relate to a peninsula - which it is, a cornucopia - quite possibly Goddess like or relating to Cerunnous the Horned God - so I haven't given up researching yet!

Cornwall 2011

I have been calling Kerah in nearly every morning, lighting my candles and incense (currently I am using white sage which curiously somehow reminds me of the smell of the sea!) on my kitchen window altar complete with shells and a fabulous starfish shaped blue glass dish I found in a local charity shop, all to represent the bounty and harvest of the sea to celebrate Litha as I work through the Goddess Wheel of the year. Afternoon devotions still have a different feel to them for me, more vivid maybe. We're off to the Norfolk coast tomorrow for a few days and instead of taking my altar things with me,I am going to make a small altar based on what I find at the beach or out and about, as well as making a few offerings.

This morning when I woke up and the rain was pouring, after a split second of irritation, my thought was 'YES!' the allotment would have the water it so badly needs - there's hope for me being a farmer yet! I decided to try to mediate with the sound of the rain instead of the rays of the sun or the moonlight which have proved so effective previously. I reasoned that as I had asked Ker to bless my  land with Sun and Rain, it  must also apply to me  too - a 'Goddessing Blessing' as we have come to know it in our house!  To my amazement I was quickly in a deep meditation journey and was once again in the cottage with a fire raging, pot or cauldron steaming whilst 'we' made pots and bottles from clay and ground plants in a pestle and mortar. Comfrey and lavender came to mind from nowhere as well as a 'wort' of some kind - bladder? rag? - I couldn't catch the full name. Again, I had the curious feeling of watching myself whilst people came and went bringing a basket of apples and a bottle of something- possibly mead, then 'we' worked up a poultice for an infected leg wound before I felt myself leaving it all beneath me as I drifted up and opened my eyes to find my  faithful old George at my side, purring and watching me intently. Any  ideas on herbs and poultices anyone? 

I did Google these plants - Lavender has antiseptic powers and Comfrey was used to fight infections..... Ragwort can be poisonous but has been used for wounds as has Bladderwort - not that I recommend this concoction to anyone for anything! Logic tells me that I could have easily read about any of these plants and poultices in the many historical novels I have read over the years, but it was pretty specific. It looks like yet again, I'm being pointed in the direction of herbs and healing, even if just to learn a little more.

So, I'm off to Norfolk in the morning with the family, it will be interesting to see what Goddess has for me to discover there!

                                       Have a Blessed Week x x