Sitting With Myself

Cow Parsley From My Nature Photo Challenge

So, I was rather happily having one of those quiet Goddessing weeks, just pootling along with my camera, happily and quietly muttering away to myself, staring thoughtfully into the local countryside looking either fey or deranged - dependant on your own personal opinion, which suited me just fine. Over the last few week I have been floating around on a serene cloud of love for all around me. I was planning on blogging about the nature photos I had taken as part of a week long facebook challenge by a friend, nice and easy. Nope, should have known, Goddess had other ideas for me and the chilled lazy next few days I had planned.

Stunning Windows
- Reminded me of Corn

Cue a frantic phone call from my daughter on Thursday afternoon to tell me she'd missed the last train to get her to college in time for her final and graded drama performance.... quick mental calculations about possible options resulted in a formula one style drive across what felt like half of Kent, full of raging warrior mother energy as well as plenty of loud and fiery hormonal induced teenage squawking and pre-menopausal stressed shrieks from both parties, followed by a silent terse last part of the journey. Joy. 
We got there with a minute to spare. As there was no time go home and I didn't feel like doing another 25 miles just for the fun of it, I hauled my huffing and puffing grumpiness off to the nearest library and sulkily chose the nearest book I could find that appealed. It just happened to be Labyrinth by Kate Mosse - before carting myself to sit by a pretty village church just outside of Tonbridge to read it.

Witchy Clouds

Tudeley Church as well as being the nearest village is also a place of ancestral interest to our family, who shouted Mother line at me? 

Book in hand, I wandered through the churchyard, amused to see a collection of clouds that looked like a witch on her broomstick to me and was delighted to find the Church itself open. 
Still huffing and puffing and decidedly stressed,  I let myself in and explored it's simple and beautiful interior, complete with it's amazing stained glass windows, the work of artist Marc Chagall, commissioned as a memorial. Sitting in the dreamy light and atmosphere of the windows was like being underwater and put me in mind of the book Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys. Soothed, I sat back and felt the emotions of centuries of hopes, dreams, tears - happiness

Churchyard Labyrinth

and sadness that have worn the stone floor down; some by my own ancestors wash over me, until I returned to my pre phone call state of love and wonder. One stunning window in particular made me think of the flourishing corn fields growing near to home and of Ker, how little symbols where literally everywhere, which left me pondering quite how religion dominated by men overtook the spirituality that had pre-dated it-had feminine spirituality dominated or had there been an ancient equality between the sexes of all the deities in the past?  

Heading outside, I made myself comfy on a bench and opened my book to read. Barely a few pages in, I was aware of a persistent bird call round behind the church and not for the first time felt I wasn't entirely alone. Curiosity got the better of me and I walked round the back of the building to find this simple labyrinth cut into the grass. I had to walk round it of course, even if the sign said it was designed as a project for children! Spinning round it, (that had to be

A Corn Field - What a Surprise!

done too didn't it?) I stopped opposite a grave that bore an old family name on my Mum's side, hmm not just a coincidence! 
That and the fact that when I walked through the grave yard path and beyond I found myself standing in a corn field  of all things, where I sat on the track and spent a long time watching the gravity defying swooping acrobatics of some magnificent swallows who seemed totally unconcerned by my presence as they flew in and out of the growing corn.
So with Raging Warrior calmed and Wild Woman understood and appeased I found I was actually grateful for the anger and stress that had sent me off to find some peace and solitude, acknowledging it, sitting with it  and honouring it had led me to a place of peace rather than letting it fester away and brew

A Bit of Tranquillity

for another occasion, rather than 'allowing' it room and head space - how silly that seems when you look at it like that! Like damming a volcano! I was back in benevolent Earth Mother mode  and headed off to watch Sophie's show, which she was absolutely fantastic in, despite sudden massive technical problems, hitches, the fire alarm going off and everyone standing in the car park for 45 minutes, yes really!
Good job I had take the time to deal with my anger or I may well just have actually spontaneously combusted with frustration in West Kent College Car park!
Got me thinking though, I know I don't like to accept stress and anger as a part of me and try to push it down and deny it, which to be honest just makes it worse. I think we all do. Interesting that acknowledging and working with a bit of a blow up as opposed to ignoring it, led me to all my favourite things and found me a healthy way to deal with it fully. 

Have A Blessed and Not Too Combustible Week x x

Lessons From Nature

Midday Sun 

I'm going to do it, I'm going to mention it - you knew it wouldn't be long before I did....what beautiful weather we've had!

As the wheel of the year turns, the lighter evenings and warmer days have drawn me off the sofa and led me out, keen to explore Goddess's land and countryside again, greeting the plants and familiar seasonal landmarks like old friends. 
This year I have found myself remembering what was where the year before, looking out for signs of new growth and really noticing the subtle changes as they happen, rather than just suddenly realising we are in a different season once more. I've restarted

The Corn Field, that was...

my weekly Wednesday walk through the three fields to pilates (or 'pirates' if you allow your predictive text headroom - sounds much more fun that deep breathing, lots of pelvic floor clenching and rolling around a church floor doesn't it?)
The corn field that became a bean field, has become a mystery field again - some sort of cereal by the looks of it, a joyous replacement to the muddy field I stood quietly in a few months back, arms outstretched and  listening to the rhythmic patter of rain on my hood. I really look forward to this part of my week and it has become a ritual as important as my daily grounding and calling in of Ker or Kerah as I once again name Her as Lover and Warrior. The 15 minute walk usually takes me well over half an hour, all my senses revel in their hyper sensitivity, gleefully eagle eyed in spotting new blooms and foliage, smelling the wild scents and ears straining to differentiate the different bird calls. This week as I approached

Woodpecker's Nest Hole

a beautiful quiet copse carpeted with bluebells and celandines, I heard a persistent tapping that grew louder and nearer. As I inched in to the copse, I was rewarded by the sight of a magnificent male green woodpecker gently and carefully drilling into a tall silver birch. My size 8's crunched on a dry twig and frightened him away before I could get a photo, although I got a photo of a fresh nest hole that will hopefully become a home soon. I was amazed how big he was - about a foot tall and so close! What a surprise blessing from Goddess. A bit of research taught me that their call, known as 'yaffling' is a sound I've often heard and not recognised - to me it sounds not unlike that of a warning call of a Blackbird. So that's why the Wooden Woodpecker in Bagpuss is called Professor Yaffle!! Who knew? 
Before I started writing this week, I looked up the symbolic meanings of woodpeckers; opportunity, the need for creative vision, refocusing on projects and even a suggestion by Dr Carl Jung that they

Apple Blossom in The Third Field Orchard

represent a return to the womb of creativity* which resonated with me as my mind continues to swirl with half formed creative ideas and projects, spirally and drifting hazily before slowly taking shape in the depths of my imagination, as well as mentioning root chakras and 'other worldly messengers', protection and the star sign of Aries (mine) - I've added a link at the bottom if you would like to read more. Interestingly I saw a rune like figure in my Beltane fire last weekend, which I identified as Algiz. A friend of mine who is a wonderful Rune Maker and Master, assured me that it meant protection, doubly so with the fire element. Protection from what I had pondered? Hmmm. My research made me remember something from earlier in the week and I would get another prompt before the week was out....

Pink Spanish Strain Bluebells - not so welcome?

Earlier in the week I had attended a local Mystical Forum that has started up. Each month there are two guest speakers, this month a wonderful talk on meditation with a short guided meditation which I easily slipped into and enjoyed, feeling the familiar tilt that comes to me when I meditate. I used to feel like a ship listing, convinced that I would wake up at an odd angle. Someone once told me it was a start of a trance which used to worry me a bit until I accepted it and went with the flow, I seem to come back ok, although I usually find a cat sitting by me or in me as I come back to real world. This night however, it was suggested that it was the closeness of a spirit around me, bearing in mind that I often see odd things,

Altar Feather

I wasn't quite so happy about that! The second talk was about Paranormal Investigations which was fascinating and we had a taster experience of equipment used in an investigation,however yet again I was slightly freaked out to be one of a couple of people singled out and informed -albeit kindly that I was susceptible to spirits, deep joy! Is this why the protection seemed to be around me from the rune? Then I have Mr Woodpecker who seemed to be adding weight to that too. I also had a wood pigeon literally shed a feather on my head as I was walking - I suppose it could have been worse! I decided that such a gift needed to be added to my Altar - maybe it was  Kerah's sign to remind me that I can fly in my own way and to keep looking for my wings?
That or we have a lot of wood pigeons around here!

Saturday I headed off towards Folkestone to see a lovely lady called Sue and to support a fund raiser for her sky dive in aid of MS. A meditation journey and an angel card reading in Sue's wonderful and aptly named Womb Room, once again called up a complete focus on creative gifts and their current lack of usage, followed by a discussion about how the obstacles could be overcome. I'll consider myself told! Told and protected!

I'll leave you with a picture of my crazy cat Spock, yes named after the dude from Star Trek, enjoying the sun in style..... Bless him!


     Have a Blessed Week x x x








*http://www.whats-your-sign.com/symbolic-meaning-of-woodpecker.html

Beautiful Beltane

Outside Beltane Altar

Blessed Beltane to you All! 

As you may have noticed I'm tinkering with a slightly different format time wise at the moment so please bear with me! Phew - what a busy few weeks in general and a particularly hectic weekend for Beltane.
We started off on Saturday with a long overdue trip to the allotment - to tidy up and dig the beds over again. Our lovely neighbour in real and allotment life had run his petrol strimmer over the grass paths so it really wasn't too bad but the beds themselves needed a thorough dig over. As well as that we had psyched ourselves up to dig out a new big border that we had previously treated with a natural mulching plant, allowed to die down and covered over to put some goodness back into the ground. This new bed may only be about 10 feet by 12 feet but it felt like an acre! 
Not for first time I felt the combined force of 

Beltane Eve Fire

generations of ancestors shaking their heads with mirth at my huffing and puffing whilst I was digging and woefully rubbing my sore palms! How they did this day in day out, I seriously don't know! Aching, muddy and tired we didn't need much persuading to light our Beltane Eve fire early and gladly sat around it talking and enjoying the peace and warmth of the fire with a drink or two, I opened my Spiced Lindisfarne Mead that my Cousin had bought me which was dangerously pleasant! You'll be pleased to know there were no attempts despite the mead to jump over the Beltane Fire as is custom as I wasn't up for a late night trip to A and E!

Dode Church Grounds

A seriously early start the following morning required an early night, so by 10 I was tucked up and probably snoring. For the record it was freezing cold at 4 o'clock on May Day morning! There was ice on my car and the temperature dipped to minus 0.5 as I drove down the lane muttering to myself about my sanity and asking myself exactly what I was doing, thinking I could just stay in bed and get up in the daylight and just light a candle for Beltane - surely Goddess wouldn't mind? Just then I was greeted by the wonderful sight of a pair of beautiful badgers running up the lane, probably thinking the same thing. I slowed and let them cross in front of me - I think that's the only time I've ever seen any in the wild that weren't dead.  Okay so that alone was worth getting up for! 
So, twenty minutes later I

Dode Church

found myself bundling into a convoy of cars with my friend Shelley's group Wicked Belly Morris and heading for the site of Dode about quarter of an hour away.  Dode was a hamlet with a Norman church believed to be built on a man made mound, the ancient site of a meeting place that pre dates Christianity, apparently the local lanes Holly (Holy) Hill and Wrangling Lane point to it being this as well as it being on the cross section of local ley lines. It is also in the middle of the sweep of standing stones and tombs in Kent known as the Medway Megaliths..... The community was wiped out by the black death in 1349 and the church hasn't

Wicked Belly Morris

been used for worship since the 14th Century. Now restored, it's a popular site for handfastings and weddings, the stones are a recent addition by the current owner. It has a beautiful atmosphere, spiritual and calm.

Unusually for May Day morning there was a thick frost, I really can't think of a May Day so cold and everyone was hopping from one foot to the other whether they were taking part in the Morris dancing or not! The Kent Gorsedd Beltane songs, invocations and ritual was accompanied by hoarse calls from hidden pheasants in the undergrowth and a solitary circling bird of prey, the sun came up slowly, warming and illuminating the peaceful valley

Lady Moon Lingered...

and even Lady Moon lingered to watch us wake the Jack or Jackie and the land. Normally I wash my face in the May Day dew to keep my ahem, youthful looks as legend has it, this year to avoid frost bite I didn't!
The group performed a dance to awake the Jack, with a girlie twist which satisfied my inner Goddess, and made an offering of cake and Mead  to the spirits of the place and the land - I'm sensing a bit of a pattern here..  After this we all headed off to a local Biker/Transport Cafe  for a much needed cooked breakfast to warm up, before I headed back home for an even more needed 3 hour catch up of sleep. 

Beautiful Dode Church

There were so many moots. gatherings and ceremonies this weekend that I couldn't possibly attend all of them even with a time machine, my facebook page abounded with messages of 'Beltane Blessings!' and photos of friends doing their own particular Beltane thing which was wonderful.

We spent the rest of the afternoon as my parents with all the family, attempting to devour one of my lovely Mum's "eat four plates full please, you can't go until it's all gone" buffets, this random family gathering unusually at the request of my Brother 'just because' he hadn't seen us all for a month - good timing Bro, even if you do 'lovingly' call me 'dirt worshipper' - a name that I seemed to earn even more yesterday by turning up barefoot as my sandals had broken and I wanted to use Dad's glue as we had run out!  A beautiful sunny afternoon in the garden with all the family ensued, lots of chatting and laughter, attempting to consume the buffet, followed by the  important and technical business of the team effort to repair of the swing-ball, the ensuing serious swing ball wars, numerous dogs attempting to eat the swing-ball ball, swing-ball ball entering next doors garden, more than once ....  followed by everyone piling into the lounge to watch video, yes video camcorder footage of the 90's and early noughties accompanied by much rewinding, hilarity, squealing, laughter, cringing,  and embarrassment.... oh dear  the haircuts and the glasses - perfect!

 Have a Blessed Week x x