Walking with my Goddess: Solace

Solitary nest in a tree

Late post again this week, sorry everyone - the end of the week seemed to evaporate and I hadn't managed to finish reining in all my thoughts that were whirling round my head by the time it came to write them down, they were elusive to say the least. Even grounding and calling Goddess in this week has felt perfunctual and I've felt a lack of depth, if that makes sense. I thought the week finally had come when there would be gap! However after trailing round half the shops in town with my son who suddenly realised that he needed a suit for the funeral the next day as his no longer fitted him, I literally decided to take to the hills, I wonder if that's where the phrase came from....fleeing to higher ground and departing quickly! Anyway off I shot to our lovely North Downs to escape the maelstrom gusting round my head and literally blow the cobwebs away.

Kits Coty House

At one of my favourite haunts the evocative Kits Coty House, I braved the very real wind that stripped trees naked of their remaining leaves and whipped my hair so wildly that I looked like a cave woman. Luckily no one else was there to witness my bad hair afternoon and I was able to sit in silence and watch over the town in the valley below, hoping to find the peace I was looking for. What I did find, was the noisiest silence you could get! Obviously my Goddess of the land is not a quiet one - as the wind whistled, roared and raged, the trees where clacking and rattling and even the grass was flapping so quickly it made a rushing sort of sound as it blew first one way and

A Gift To The Ancestors?

them another like a turbulent green sea, albeit one dotted with some very hardy dandelions. After joining in with the wailing, making a fair amount of racket myself as well as a bit of grizzling, which may have added to the cave woman look - my very ancient ancestors who may very well have been buried where I was sitting would have approved of, I felt oddly better in a primal and free sort of way. Inspired and slightly renewed I noticed this tiny pumpkin, left maybe as a Samhain offering to unknown ancients amongst the stones and remembered the ancient people who would rest for eternity where I sat, these remaining stones on the hill once being the entrance to a burial long barrow that has long since been ploughed to oblivion. I've read somewhere that these were

A Bit Far from the Coast
For Shells....

also often used as temples back in a time when we called on the spirits of our ancestors to mediate with or appease our Goddesses and Gods. Is this where our desire to honour and achieve things in our departed loved one's memories comes from? This ancient ancestor worship? In all probability all they too sat with their bones and remembered those they loved, probably had the same gut wrenching feelings of guilt and regret about we did or didn't say or do, smiled at precious memories, wiped away tears and howled into the wind.

Illuminating The Town

Sitting overlooking the town, I watched rays of sun filter out one by one through the cloud, illuminating random patches where they shone, this photo could be mistaken for a UFO too! I sat meditating, still no clear images or thoughts but I felt as though the mists were clearing and felt sure that Goddess wasn't so very far away after all. With the hairs on the back of my neck rising and a growing sense that the patrolling hawk or kestrel circling high above and I weren't alone I decided it was time to leave and head back home, feeling a lot calmer and refocused again. I was taken with the tree lined tunnel that forms an avenue up and down

Heading Down to the
Countless Stones

the hill that acts as an access route to the stones along the famous Pilgrims Way, I wonder how many years later that became it's official name from some ancient track? Yes more trees, I'm obsessed! I know there is no way they were the original ones there when the stones were first erected but they feel apt like a processional funerary route. Climbing back up to the car I still had the most curious sensation that I was not alone, but really didn't fancy staying to find out, that might be another trip with a friend or two to investigate further!
Thanking the Goddess for the calm before the inevitable storm and the renewed strength I felt, I went home and laid the table with our best tablecloths, china and cutlery for us to have a final celebratory meal, even opened a bottle of bubbly to toast cherished memories and laugh at all the funny times we have shared with Kevin, and believe me there are plenty, many of them extremely colourful!

Wishing You All A Peaceful and Blessed Week x x