So 2019 is almost over, not sure where that went! I always find New Year a strange time looking back and looking to the future simultaneously, this year is no different.
It was a year of changes, sadly a huge one as we lost my Husband's wonderful Dad, Ben after a short illness in October, so Solstice / Yule / Christmas was tinged with sadness and poignant reminders with it's missing place at the table and it's bittersweet memories, not least of all this cushion I made for himself from Ben's old Bowls Shirt.....
My father in law was hilarious and even at the very end of his illness - the dreaded C Word, he was as mischievous and quick thinking as ever. I spent a lot of time with him, time that became so precious it was almost magical, he knew he was dying, we knew he was dying and you know what he was ok with it, more so than us, we talked about it and even joked about it. One evening when I arrived to visit him, he was dozing and I hadn't realised he had woken until he took my hand, telling me he hadn't long left, I smiled and agreed, he asked the time - it was ten past five, then he asked what time I was heading off, about half past five, I replied, quick as a flash he said "Well I should be ok until then!" with a cheeky grin.... His funeral was a mirth filled celebration of his life, all his friends and family sharing funny stories of a life well lived, just perfect.
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| Some Homemade Yule Gifts |
We celebrated Solstice and Christmas though, plenty of my infamous Gin Infusion recipes made an appearance and gave a few sore heads and I got even more arty farty this year which pleased my inner creative Goddess.
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| Even the Gents didn't Escape the Glut of Body Butter and Lip Balm.. |
This year has heralded some other big changes too, I started working as a registrar for weddings which I absolutely love and plan to carry on and expand on my knowledge in 2020 as well as me deciding to quit my other full time job and make a radical change. Scary wasn't the word, terrifying might be!
Whilst I was sat with Ben one evening he said he was ready to go and he didn't have a single regret about his life, that he'd done what he wanted to do, been where he wanted to go etc and I started wondering would I say the same? The answer quite simply was no, I enjoyed my job but I was stuck in my comfort zone, thinking about what I wanted to do but not doing it, scared to make the leap. That night I went home and meditated on what I really wanted to do, went into work the next day and handed my notice in. I told my father in law who was a bit surprised but encouraged me to do what was right for me.
I gave myself two months and applied for a temporary part time job at the Winter Churches Homeless Shelter (kind of ironic but hey ho).
I told Ben I had applied and he was delighted, but sadly he died about an hour before the interview, I held myself together and went anyway. I got it, the very same day. I hope he knows, I'm sure he does. So I am delighted to announce that I am now a part time temporary project worker there! A generous leaving gift from colleagues and service users paid for part of my funeral celebrancy course and it was once again very generously topped up by himself and my parents for Christmas. So that's what I'll be working on whilst I 'just' work part time in the New Year! Come April when my new job ends (eeeek) I can begin to carve a name for myself in a new role as a Funeral Celebrant and train to be a Soul Doula/Midwife as I have dreamed of. I'll still need to find a part time job to begin with (at the very least) to be my bread and butter money but I've taken that leap. Scary and exciting times!
Hence my latest vision board for 2020 - if you've never done one, give it a go, let your innermost wishes, dreams and goals run riot! Make a visual representation of it and keep reminding yourself you can do it. You'll be surprised what you can achieve, you really will. The universe has a strange way of having your back too, just this very morning I was gifted an inheritance from my lovely much missed Father in Law Ben, via himself. I'm going to use it to pay for my Soul Midwife course - I think he'd approve x x x
Have wonderful New Year and I wish you all the best for 2020 x x x
